Mystery Solved

So I was walking home from the gym today and as I rounded the corner into our lane I saw the offending article. Those avid readers will know that I've had an annoying hoovering noise penetrating the flat (article here), well it's a big industrial hoover truck with a massive elephant trunk hose, like 2 feet wide. It was stationed near the new buildings near where we live and it must have been that which has been causing upset. You'll be glad to here that it was on the back of a large truck.
Meanwhile at work tonight I was the main source and butt of all the jokes. I hate being the new boy. And it's not going change for a long while. Ho-hum I'll still be the new boy for at least another four months. Then I wrang Liverpool Radar to pass a release and it was an ex-colleague of mine who's now working there who answered the phone. So I struck up a conversation and then he totally pretended not to remember me... Thanks Paul, if you're reading.
It was a busy hour I did actually. Since it was reported that

"Out of date food scavenged from a smelly skip has been served to easyJet passengers..." (read full article)

you would think (be the allegations true or false) that easyJet would make sure that it would never happen. However I had two easyJet flights tonight declare medical emergencies about which we acted as required but I have just one word... HYPOCONDRIA!